What Really Happened!
Boromir died first. Then Faramir was like half-dead but didn't die even though he was a bit burnt. Instead Gandalf wooshed Denethor in the fire and made him die. Well not exactly but gandalf DID woosh him in the fire but then Denethor ran away and jumped off the cliff but that's all we know because the screen didn't let us see him go 'splat'. Well, here is what REaLLY happened.
Denethor jumped off the high high high high high high cliff (8000000000000000 feet high, mind you) and landed on a warrior. He whispered to the warrior, "Take me to the Land of May, good warrior." The warrior charged away from a troll he was currently fighting and left in search of the Land of May. 5 days later they arrived. Denethor used some Jackie Chan moves on the warrior…just for fun and they both ate burgers and chips for dinner. The next morning Denethor left the warrior ALL by himself. In the Land of May, Denethor marched off in search of an elf so that he could 'fit in' since the Land of May is an Elf village. He soon found a lonesome elf crying because her boyfriend dumped her. He zapped off her pointy ears with his Star Wars lightsaber and said, "I've always wanted pointy ears". He sabered off his own ears and glued them to the lonesome elf's temples (Denethor was never good in anatomie Studies). He then took the elf's old ears and glued them to himself (yes, the temples as well). Then he married the lonesome elf and they had two children. A boy and another boy. One was named Lonethor, and the other one was named Denelone, the names of Denethor and the
Lonesome elf squashed together. THE END.
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After the whole ring deal, Aragorn was married to Arwen, Gimli married some other dwarf, but Legolas had no one! He (instead) was sent on a boat where he would sail forever and a day (Bon Jovi...). But that is what we are SUPPOSED to think. Actually, this is what REALLY happened.
Legolas went on the boat that sent him to AUSTRALIA! There he became a Crocodile Dundee and was best friends with the Crocodile Hunter guy... You might think, "Hey! He's an Elf. The Australians should notice." The answer is, He sold his ears to a guy who said, "I've always wanted pointy ears!" Legolas became an expert surfer and became world famous and invented the word, 'dude' His imagination went wild and soon he had created a whole Surfer Dude language (Like, yeah. So then, like, he, you know, like, became famous and rich and he, like married some Beach Girl, I mean, like duh, if he, you know, like, made, like, his own language for dudes with like, cool deals, and like, I think, like, that's, like, the end of the, um, cool, like story). So this is... THE END... duh!